An Ode to “Wing Night”

Oh “Wing Night”, how I long for you, yet, at the same moment, I fucking hate you. In Lancaster pa lis my small liberal arts school, Franklin and Marshall College. a few blocks away, is Brendee’s Irish Pub which is a regular neighborhood corner bar that is very popular amongst “townies” (a rude yet unapologetic term used by students) and amongst the students themselves. Every Tuesday is “wing night” which is very popular because each wing is 35¢ each! 35! And there are like a 2 dozen sauce to pick from. Now I have20150707_211617 had a few of them, including the 2 hottest on the list, Suicide (2nd) and Red Death (1st). These are really fucking hot, just don’t fucking eat these unless you are already pretty sauced and decided it was a great idea to let everyone buy you like 9 drinks.

Disclaimer: I may or may not have done this, but I did this so you don’t have too. You’re welcome!

Ok, so I should mention that going here by yourself is not advised, as “wing night” is meant to be spent with friends! You should be calling everyone in a 15 mile radius, even friends who graduated and live in Philly to try to convince them that “wing night” is a great idea and they should totally drive from Mannyunk to get 35¢ wings and $4 pitchers! SO when you do finally get there, don’t let the bouncer scare you, he is chill, trust me. One of the guys i go with regularly knows him on like a first name basis and he always come up to our table and talks to us if he thinks someone in the room is being unruly and advises us to talk to him if someone in the bar gets to out of control. Shoutout to my boy who knows him and shoutout to the bouncer for being the shit. There are quite a few flavors so my advice is to go last, wait to hear what other people order, especially if you are a no0b at “wing night” because you may think something sounds great, but somebody in your squad may have had that and can tell you it’s not good or is deceiving. DAMN YOU RED DEATH WINGS!

20150714_220843In all honesty, I really love “wing night” because it’s an excuse to get a bit turn and eat cheap wings in a dive bar on a Tuesday in college. Granted, it’s not healthy behavior, actually, probably little of what college kids engage in other than (pretending) to study could be classified as healthy behavior, but it’s a part of college. Everyone who went to college and had a local dive bar has these memories, or parts of them (its ok, this is no judgment blog). I want to be able to look back on my college days and remember (or try to) the times I sent with my friends because you can’t turn the clock back on things like this. So in many ways, I am always waiting for Tuesday because I want to have these memories because I’m a senior and I don’t plan on being in college forever.

20150714_220411
Shoutout to this blurry AF photo of the Red Death and (I think) Garlic Parmesan!

I like to think of myself a bit like Tevya in “Fiddler on the roof” because although “Wing night” never stays as low-key as you want and your nights will always end up in some huge memorable problem. So, 9 glasses of bourbon and I ate the spiciest wings on the menu. I regret this. No amount of pepto-bismal can help your ass (pun intended). On the other hand, its a lot funnier when it happens to someone else, or when someone drink 4 pints followed by a “trashcan”. Long story short, this night can wreak havoc. Another night, I had 3 glasses of Bushmills which I drank over a 3 hour period because I’m still capable of pacing myself, unlike some people, y’all know who you are. I was sober, I walked home, I went to sleep. The next morning I woke up with such a hangover I wasn’t sure I would be capable of being a person. Like WTF Bushmills? Is your whisky made with kerosene?! OMG I have never felt so terrible. Ironically, these are the most memorable nights as well as being the worst night ever. At the end of it all, I love Brendee’s and “wing night”, but for all the love I have, I hate it. I hate it so much because every time a poor decision is made, it only makes me want it more.

Tonight post is not sponsored by my liver, she is ok, I think. If you have a great place for wings post it below with a link to your blog or social media and we might give you a shoutout and a follow! Also, click the damn follow button if you wanna see more delicious food!

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